When my partner and I first started talking about getting pregnant, it seemed like a novel and romantic idea. And since every time you have unprotected sex, the chances of becoming pregnant are at MOST about ten percent, I was all set to spend a few months practicing.
One time. Two times. Bingo.
Suddenly, I'm dizzy. I got a random touch of heartburn. The GAS. I'll let you Google "leukorrhea". My knees are sore. My muscles ache. And I want to have sex. Lots of sex. And the moment it's over, I want more.
It would seem that my body is trying to tell me something. All these signs point to "two blue lines" or whatever a positive pregnancy test looks like. And it's too early to test.
I have obsessed over these symptoms since I realized they weren't getting better, and today I was reduced to two words.
"Oh shit."
The last time I went off birth control, I got pregnant. I was nineteen, and miscarried before I knew what was going on. The doctor told me it was "nothing" and I spent the next 5 years believing it. I saw several other doctors and had other exams, and no one mentioned it. When I was 24, I found out. A doctor asked me "When were you pregnant?" I said "never." He said I was mistaken.
So, I got on the Pill again and never looked back. And I forgot.
But now, I remember. And I wait.
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